MONDAY

Monday's are not spectacular. Monday's are slow, stressful, and full of the mundane tasks you avoid doing all weekend. But people, there is a solution to this, and it only costs $5. What "my boy" and I, Kimo Thorpe, have done is formulated the perfect counter to everything Monday involves that makes it so dreadful. It comes in the form of meat, vegetables, music and lighter's fluid.

Evidently, when these four items are mixed in perfect proportion the outcrop is a good time. Absurd, you say? On a Monday, impossible!

There lies my intended message. In a normal weekday, besides Monday of course, the average college student on Trinity's campus enjoys around 9 min. of enjoyment according to a recent poll of mine. On Monday's however, that time of enjoyment drops dramatically to an average of 33.7 seconds an hour. What we've done on these Monday Spectaculars (held consistently every Monday from 4-7 in the lawn between Beze and Herndon dorms) is gather all these lost seconds of enjoyment and pushed them together between these hours. If somewhere throughout your day you feel robbed of your 33.7 seconds, do not fret. It is I, or Kimo, that has taken your seconds. Your seconds have been carefully collected, not trashed or abused, but gathered for safe keeping to be let loose the second the clock hits 4p.m.. Ever regaining your seconds is thus impossible. The only way to not feel so bitter about being robbed is to attend! If by chance you’re reading this and it's an impossibility to attend the Spectacular, you either shouldn't worry. Your seconds will soon be radiating all over campus. To receive a small dosage of what you lost, close your eyes and listen carefully, if you hear music and laughter, that’s a group effort giving you back a small taste of your lost medicine.

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Great Storm on Trinity Hill

Peculiar Events:

God so shook Beze Third, we were all left clinging to our bedstands. Or so I've heard. Apparently a great and epic thunderstorm rolled right on top of Trinity hill momentarily engulfing lower campus. I spent this night with my brothers and sisters, in Luling, TX. When I came back to campus the story of the "Great Storm on Trinity Hill" is what I heard first.

The most vivid account I heard came from my roommate.

On a Saturday night, he was out doing what natives of Beirut (voted party city of the world for the summer of 2009) do best, partying. Please keep in mind the stretch of his inebriated imagination in these accounts. He left for his destination on wheels, and was propelled back to Beze Third by troller motor on a boat, slowly and surely. He found our room half submerged in water upon arrival. As any selfless and considerate man as himself would do, his immediate reaction was to search for his peers. He maneuvered the dangerous waters that rushed south down highway 281 towards Corpus Christi, TX. Room to room he swam, and encountered not a single drenched soul. He grabbed the limb of a live oak to catch his breath. Looking up, he saw a white flag waving in the wind. Felice Mignon, his lover, strategically placed her lace frilled pillowcase to attract the attention of a brave man just as he. He swam towards her. In the pivotal moment of his rescue effort Miss Mignon reaches forward to grab his hand to be pulled to safety and gasps as she looks up. She pulled back from his hand in utter fear, Murchison tower falls but to no avail his right hand reaches up and stops it from shattering. He continued to place person after person into the tower's peak before putting it upright again. He saved the night. Many owe their lives to him.

The next issue of the Trinitonian will be completely devoted to this man, Makram Ahmadieh. The bravest of souls.

If you don't believe this lie is true, ask the blind man he saw it too.

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